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# 13 The Sorry, Stupid, Unfeeling Things People Say During Personal Crisis

Posted by Jo Ann on October 22, 2015 in Possibly controversial |

I was thinking, watching Joe Biden all this time, still mourning Bo’s death, and started listing things that people say to those in personal crisis, death, dying, etc. It’s not that the people speaking are being unfeeling, they just feel at a loss of words to say to the person(s). Which is ok. But as social beings we need to fill the silence because it is uncomfortable for us. Its not, its actually a part of the communication cycle in crisis.

In cases likes theses. Just keep your damn mouth shut.

If a person in a tornado just lost their whole community, but family is safe, you don’t go up to them and say, “Well at least your family is ok.” They know that. They where elated and happy the first moment they realize that. But its back to the worst thing at that moment in their lives. Their world has crashed and burned on them and everything is gone. Friends and neighbors are missing or dead, all the houses are gone. Important personal objects of their past are at least a hundred miles away and you come up and say at least your family is ok. What is that supposed to mean? Or do?

Well that would surely make me feel better, you’re the 20th person to tell me that or that I am in their prayers or the will pray for me. Boy, that would lift my spirits.

The thing is, you don’t need to say anything, you don’t need to fill the silence. Words after all, float away with the breeze when spoken. Words become part of the cycle of wind. Silence can be comfortable as long as you are sincere.

Instead, hold their hand, hug them, cry with them, find some way to help clean some of the grime off that is a constant irritating reminder of what has just happened . I am not a christian, but Jesus was cleaning those people’s feet for a reason. It gave them comfort that they badly needed. It showed that He cared. He didn’t have to say anything. Silence. Comfort. Words may give comfort for a few moments, but that is all really. Doing something for that person means everything.

Even if some silly absurdity pops up, mentioning it in a light way may give a giggle of relief.

What I really hate, is you walk up to a person who is dying, maybe a week left to remain in their bodies with life, and say, “your are in my prayers” or “I will pray for you” or “hope you feel better”. You are not saying this for the one who is dying, it is to make you feel better, just like when you said the same thing to the person that just went through a tornado. Besides the dying person doesn’t want to hear that shit. Ask how they feel today, right now, in the moment. Because they are living moment to moment. They have no hope for reprieve from death. You know it, they know it. Yes its nice to know people are praying for you, but what are the prayers about. It’s the most lame thing to say. It is. Think about it.

You ask, is there something I can do right now to help you feel better? Chocolate perhaps. A book you always wanted to read. Can I help make you more comfortable in your chair/bed. Practical things. Things to make them feel better in a way that works for them. Ask them is there anything they wish to talk about. Anything. And if you are comfortable with it, ask them if they want to talk about death. Lord only knows how many people want to talk about their upcoming death but know one else wants to talk about it. Some of the best conversations I have ever had where discussing a person’s up coming death with them. Ask them if they have any unfinished business they want to finish. Things like this. Not “I hope you feel better.” It makes you sound like a moron.

My worst pet peeve is going to someone who just had a miscarriage and say, “Don’t worry, there will be more.” There will be more??!! They just lost a HUGE part of themselves, something that was theirs and theirs alone. And now its gone. Do you have any idea how devastating that would be? Did it ever occur to you that the pregnancy may have not been wanted and they don’t want “more”. Or if you know it wasn’t wanted. You don’t say, “Well you don’t have to worry about being pregnant anymore.” Most girls and women within a week of knowing they are pregnant whether the wanted the child or not has come to love this little growth inside them. It is part of them. They most likely love it, even though its not a good thing being pregnant. When they lose the baby, say that your heart breaks for them and how sorry at their loss. In this case, you don’t hear this often. Ask if they want to talk, ask if they thought it was a boy or girl or had they started to think about names. THIS BABY WAS SOOO REAL TO THEM, TREAT IT AS REAL, TREAT IT AS A REAL LOSS. Because for the majority, it is. Don’t be an idiot. Think of how you felt when it happened to you, or how it would feel as if it happened to you. I hated the stupid stuff people told me.

People in crisis end up feeling more like piriahas because people don’t understand how to behave around them. Behave like feeling compassionate people. They can tell when you just want to get away from them. Show them love, compassion and truly show how deep you feel, but not just by words.

Dig down deep and be the best compassionate, loving person you know you can be.

Let me know how you feel about this post.

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#12B Good Grief, I forgot about climate change.

Posted by Jo Ann on August 31, 2015 in Uncategorized |

I am also for trying to reverse some of the symptoms of climate change as we try to overall, slow it down.

The Glaciers melting breaks my heart. They are fresh water, they help keep the earth cool by reflecting sunlight, and they are the biggest symptom of all, as they disappear, our water becomes less salty and the earth warms. And these two effects are so calamitous for us as inhabitants of this planet.

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#12 I am thinking of running for president, yeah, for real.

Posted by Jo Ann on August 31, 2015 in Uncategorized |

But i don’t know how to start. I know i would have to get a start up fund to pay for traveling and a couple of decent outfits. Hilary seems to be wearing 4 or 5, so that would be cool. Don’t really have anything appropriate for campaigning.

My agenda would be fixing tax break/holes, infrastructure, especially bridges and electric grid, schools, ( I would try to set school systems up as the Catholic Dioceses have been doing for years, graduating well rounded students. I would definitely urge science and math), make higher education more affordable, as well as have institutions of higher learning reassess their curriculum. Middle/poor class people, keeping Obama’s health bill intact and maybe make a tweak here or there. As for boots on the ground. I have no idea what the facts are, so what can I say at this point.

Heck, I don’t even know where one would go to sign up as a candidate.

I would probably run as an independent because i am embarrassed by both the republicans and democrats. There needs to be a legal length of time they can stay in office.

If anyone knows how i would get started i sure would appreciate the advice.

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#11 What office is Trump running for?????

I can’t help but follow the debacle (or as Charlie Rose referred to it as the new reality TV show, “Trump and the Republicans”.) Then add Bilary and the email saga and i just wanna puke when it comes on.

puke puke puke.

So, what office is Trump really running for??? Besides showing he has great taunts, maybe practice for his foreign policies, and a China type wall. What else is he for. He mentioned once he was for the middle class, to do or be what. Is he for making the middle class the new poor class? But if so, then, what would we call the poor class. It’s all very confusing.

If you compare Trump’s campaign to all the other campaigns, you’ll notice that the others are letting people know what they are for (sorta, Trump keeps interupting). Trump is not letting anyone know. He is TELLING YOU WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO, whether others want it or not. He does not sound like a canidate, he sounds like a dictator, a despot. Wonder if he and Putin are taking the same online course for despotism or “how to be a great dictator”.

Maybe mother nature will take a dislike to him and open up another hole. She can’t like being called a pig or bimbo. Well, maybe not pig, but bimbo and a few others.

Tread light Trump, Mother Nature can be a bitch when she’s pissed off.

 

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#10 Charley Rose is the Best.

Posted by Jo Ann on July 23, 2015 in Uncategorized |

Loved it when Charley Rose said the business of what was going on was like a reality show of Trump and the Republicans.

That really cracked me up.

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#9 Never Mind, Ya Ain’t Gotta Love Donald

Posted by Jo Ann on July 22, 2015 in Trumps an Idiot |

Donald Trump is an asshole and a fucking idiot, with stupid hair. What can I say.

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#8 Ya Just Gotta Love Donald

Posted by Jo Ann on July 20, 2015 in It might be a wee bit political, Trumps an Idiot |

Ya just want pinch and twist little his cheekies until he screams, he’s so cute.  A Veteran at the Burgh VFW convention said he was thinking of voting for him because of his business acumen. But he has his doubts now. You can have great business acumen but be a fool and/or just totally insane. I am keeping an eye on just one candidate from each party, Rand Paul (who for the longest time was the devil in disguise as far as I was concerned, but he said something a while back that at least removed his pitch fork and tail) and of course, Bilary. The republican party person may change from time to time, but it looks like Bilary is my democratic choice.

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#7 YOU GO TRUMP!!!!!

Personally, I feel Trump’s brain is in a dump. But a republican on TV said Trump is gonna kill off the Republican party. So you go Trump! Keep up the stupid things you say. Alienate all the immigrants!!!! Maybe finally we can get Estados Unidos on the right track.

OMG!? Did I say United States in Spanish??? What is wrong with me. I can’t be bilingual, its not American.

 

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#6 Use Your Freaking Heads PEOPLE! Hatred & STUPIDITY Reins!!!!!

Hatred apparently turns people into crazy, fanatical, morons. Even if their IQ is above normal, the more hate they feel the lower it apparently drops, except for those really fanatical, evil but intelligent mass murderers who get absolutely giddy over their deeds of evil.

But we must realize that hatred and evil are not the same thing. This is a disgusting example: Jeffry Dalmar did not hate his victims. He may have hated himself at times, but then again probably not. A lot of terrorist probably say they hate who they are killing, but actually are getting the supreme adrenalin high they want, becoming heroes in the eyes of their peers or superiors, or are simply brain washed to believe their God will welcome them into heaven.

What separated the crime in Charleston from the others is that Roof truly appears to hate blacks, (I use the word “appears” because I have no idea of what is going on in the man’s head). But then, as he stated he almost didn’t carry out the attack because they where nice to him, means that he does have the human trait which allowed him to separate out a small group of black people from the group he hates, but not enough to spare them. I bet he experienced confusion at that moment. Convinced of what he thought black people where, this small group did not fit that mold. Possibly adrenalin kept him from thinking this through or he simply did not have the faculties to do so, or he just wanted to get it done with.

His father harped at him about getting a job. In his feelings that blacks where taking over the United States may have given him an excuse, at least to himself, that they had taken all the jobs, at least the good ones. This excuse may have not convinced everyone, but it may have convinced him.

Of course, you have all the black guys raping all the white girls. That happens occasionally and makes the news because its a tastier tidbit then white guy rapes white girl. The truth is this. Most crimes are same race crimes. In other words, white against white, black against black, Vietnamese against Vietnamese, etc. We also have, in certain areas, same nationalities crimes; (i.e. Irish and Italian mafias).

This was a true hate crime (Roof is not guilty unless proven otherwise without a doubt, and I agree because it’s the law). He supposedly dropped out of school after repeating 9th grade. Had little to no knowledge on how to cope with his life situations. So he had to believe in something to help him cope, that made his life this way. So he took his cue from family, friends, neighbors, or just down right fanatics. And that was to blame blacks.

Hate twists your mind and soul.

He is not the only one involved in this crime, but the society he moved in is as well.

One more thing. Everyone is going on about that damn flag. A lot of men, women, and children died for that flag, they did not die for slavery, they died for their country and all who are for or oppose that flag are doing a great dishonorable injustice to those who long ago died for their country, the Confederacy.

 

 

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#5 Ok Let’s Attack the Pope because he wants us to clean house!

Posted by Jo Ann on June 17, 2015 in It might be a wee bit political, Possibly controversial |

First off, Trump is an idiot. Why does he have to stick his face into everything.

As for the pope, he has someone in his group trying to squelch the Pope from stating scientific fact about Climate Change. They must be from the rich religious groups that are creationist. Makes ya wonder how they became rich in the first place, and I shall leave it at that.

Jeb stated that he doesn’t need the Pope to advise him cuz he already has enough people doing just that already. One way to get around the Pope.

I don’t care what Trump thinks, his job is to look like an ass and make every one hate him. He is doing that quite well actually. Good Boy.

I am waiting to see how the other catholic republicans will get around what the Poped stated and suggested about cleaning up the Earth.

Pope Francis just made things a bit more interesting. Plus, I hope he has a lot of influence on fixing climate change.

 

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